25 Things We Want Our Marriage to be Besides Perfect

25 Things We Want Our Marriage to be Besides Perfect


We got the idea to do this post after reading a couple of different bloggers’ posts about things they’d rather be than pretty. And so we thought we’d give you a list of things we’d rather our marriage be than perfect. So many fellow marriage/relationship bloggers talk about ways to get to the perfect marriage or relationship, and well we think that’s bullshit, in the famous words of Auntie Bey “Who wants that perfect love story anyway!?” Marriage is so much more than being the perfect spouse day in and day out. So here’s 25 things we’d actually want our marriage to be because it’d be damn awesome!



Because love finally won.


A partner who understands that you binge watch Christmas movies during the summertime and doesn’t judge you is like finding your best friend. A partner who joins in on the binge watching is like finding your soul mate!


Marriage is one of life’s greatest adventures. We want to always incorporate new ways of experiencing life.


Being inquisitive about your partner is a small gesture that goes a long way. Being genuine in your pursuit to continue to know and get to know the person they are and are becoming says a lot about your willingness to keep things fresh.


Keeping the spark alive is important in any intimate relationship. DJ Tricey Trice is a really affectionate person and likes physical attention, hand holding, PDA, etc. So showing affection and having lots of passionate moments is a must for her and as her Wife it’s important to me to continually make her feel that spark.


There are going to be some weird things that occur during your marriage and life in general. Having a partner that is open minded and accepting of changes is so beneficial. Being married to an Aquarius, Haighlove’s birthday is Feb.4, (yes we’re ignoring the new sign that astrologers just randomly threw into the zodiac signs like the rest of the world) I never know what she’s going to come home with, whether it be a turtle or no hair or a new blog concept that’s a little out there. I’m open to it because I love that strange strange mind of hers!


As a queer couple it is ingrained in us to match each other’s fly. Like I’m sure that’s a requirement as an LGBTQ+ person. Am I right or am I right? Color blocking and hers/hers outfit shopping is very high on our gay agenda.


We both fell in love with each other’s smile, laughter, and carefree spirit. Marriage is literally a never ending sleepover with your bestfriend!


We find strength in humility. Our standard of life and idea of a healthy and loving relationship totally works for us, and we get that some of the stories we sharel and the advice that may come from them won’t work for everyone. But hey, for us, it’s moving mountains.


Stability in life is truly a blessing. Financial stability allows us to fund passion projects like this one. Stability in ourselves and our marriage allows us to share passion projects with all of you awesome peeps!


Being in sync with each other is one of the best feelings in the world. I read once that if you’re able to walk side by side with your significant other seamlessly then you’re more likely to get along with them. So go out there and “get your sync on” *in Missy Elliot’s voice. (Yes I crack myself up)


Promising to stay the same person your spouse/partner fell in love with is…well…unrealistic. We are ever changing, ever growing, ever evolving. In our vows we promised to love each version of each other instead of promising to stay the same, and honestly that’s one of the best things that we could’ve ever done. It cuts out a lot of assumed expectations and helps to have better conversations around personal changes which are going to happen.


We as human beings are always changing and evolving so why not want a marriage that’s just as dynamic!?


Because you’re not always right. You can’t always take, sometimes you have to give.


Knowing that someone knows and understands what you’re going through and stands by you is one of the best feelings in the world. *See supportive!


Respect is a fundamental aspect of any relationship, and in marriage it’s important because there are a lot of things that you both aren’t going to agree on, but respecting your partner enough to hear them out is crucial in heated moments of differing opinions.


I mean, because laughter is in deed the best medicine. And we’ve learned so far that it’s good to be able to laugh at yourself.


I think we can all agree that life is shit sometimes. Having someone there for you to look after you, to take care of you mind, body, and soul is very necessary in any intimate relationship.


Trust is a major part of all relationships, but reaching the level of trust where you know without a shadow of a doubt that your partner will go above and beyond for you in any instance.


Sometimes you don’t want to think about the things you’re putting off, whether it’s the laundry, finishing that degree or living out your lifelong dream. Having a partner that keeps you motivated and focused is everything!


Giving more than you take helps create a sincere environment for both you and your partner. Doing things because you want to and not needing them to be reciprocated is one of the most liberating feelings ever!


We both love to talk. We talk about everything. Even if it’s sometimes more body language and non verbals than verbals. Hey, it’s all communication.


Because who likes monotony. Spice it up!


At the end of the day, this is your person, for life. You want to be able to build with them the life that works for both of you.


As an LGBTQ+ couple the worst thing we could do is hide who we are from the world. Our world of intersectionality is so unique that we need to be bold and audacious in our representation and presence in the world. There are so many young women who are looking for others to maybe find the guidance or strength they need to be their truest form. We wouldn’t be doing our jobs as bloggers if we apologized for being the truly madly deeply happy couple we are. Also we don’t care if you’re uncomfortable, you know what makes us uncomfortable the fact that tamale pants are apparently a thing now.



Haighlove & DJ Tricey Trice


What are some things you want your relationship to be other than perfect!?