9 Questions That'll Get You Dragged By Married Lesbians

We have now moved into the annoying phase where everyone we know and even people that we don’t know, think they have the right to ask us super personal questions. Don’t get me wrong a lot of newlyweds, same sex or not, go through this phase. However it’s a bit different when you are in a same sex relationship because apparently everyone forgets common courtesy and instead asks question as if we’re appearing on Ripley’s Believe It or Not.

Here are some of the unbelievable questions that people have the audacity to ask us:
 

“How long were you all dating before you got married? 2 weeks!?”

Hahaha! Good one. We get that there’s a common perception that lesbians move at the speed of light in relationships. What if someone in a same sex marriage asked you “Is this your first husband?” because there’s a common perception that heterosexuals often times have more than 1 marriage. Offensive right? Here’s a more respectable question you could ask, “How long have you all been together/married?” Easy fix right? But don’t forget that you could also just not ask.

 

“Oh you eloped, your family must not have supported you.”

This isn't even a question! We didn’t elope because we didn’t have support we eloped because paying $25,000 for a wedding while one of us was still in school was absolutely unfeasible and overall unnecessary. We wanted to be focused on each other and we wanted our families to be focused on our union not whether to get silk flowers or real flowers.

 

Should I call her your partner?

No. When someone addresses you do they call say this is Jason’s partner? Or do they say this is Jason’s Wife? You should call her my Wife because that’s who she is.

 

Are you scared that your marriage won’t be recognized legally with this administration?

No.

 

“How are you all going to have kids?”

I just want to emphasis the disrespectful ignorance of using “How” instead of “When”. Like how dare you, we are not here to give you a lesson in AI, TTC, and/or IUI. If you’re so interested look it up your damn self! Don’t tell us about adoption, surrogacy, or that we need to know the donor of the child that you’ve given to us in your deranged head because I will make it my personal mission to drag you every time I see you.

 

What are you going to tell them when they get bullied at school for having two moms?

Are you serious? Kids get bullied for everything, from being too short to too tall to too thin to too large. Having two moms is not a lifetime bullying sentence. But to answer you misguided question they’ll know from a young age that they are a part of a two parent household with two loving moms who desire nothing else but to give them the tools they need to be global citizens. How about you teach your snot nosed brats not to bully kids.

 

So which one of you  takes out of the trash and does the yardwork?

Haven’t you heard about the wonderful life of lesbians and the financial perks that come along with it!? We have a service that takes care of our trash as well as our yard work. Bitch. We both do! You see these two hands and the two legs? Leave your gender roles in your marriage. We are partners at the end of the day, if i don’t feel like cooking my Wife does. If she doesn’t feel like doing the laundry, I wait until she does because I hate doing the laundry like other non-helpful spouses.

 

Is it easier being married to another woman?

What people fail to realize is that we are all just people with attitudes, personalities, and characteristic traits. Being married to a woman is not an endless sleepover with mani/pedis and romcoms. It’s having the same arguments every couple has about housework, bills, intimacy and attention. It’s easy being with someone you’ve chosen to be with for life because they’re your person, not because they’re the same sex as you.

 

What if you start you know...missing d***?

It’s called a strap-on, say it with me STRAP-ON. The desire to have penetrative sex should not be shameful for women in same sex relationships, pleasure is pleasure. Sex is as versatile as we want and more importantly you can’t miss what you don’t want. There’s a reason why us homos have more orgasms than heteros.

 

These personal questions can be areas of stress, pain, or tension within our marriage. Please remember that when trying to satisfy your own personal curiosity. Asking questions can be super helpful as long as you stay respectful and not assumptive. Our marriage is just like everyone else’s except for the fact that we’re both the super kickass wives. Be mindful when trying to better understand the queer people in your life.