My Wife Doesn't Deserve Surprises

Recently I surprised my Wife with a promposal for an LGBT Adult Prom in Louisville, Kentucky. I bought her entire suit and shoes, Beauty and the Beast rose kit and 24k gold chain without her knowing it. I reserved our hotel room at Galt House Hotel on my personal card so she wouldn’t see the charge, bought her favorite snacks for the surprise hour and a half road trip and packed an overnight bag with brand new matching outfits because the beauty is in the details!

I must say that the surprise went great, so great. We checked into our hotel, it was absolutely stunning. Our room was right on the water and had a great view of Downtown Louisville. We danced the night away drunk in love. Ate Waffle House before heading back to the hotel for the nightcap. I even wore her suit jacket because I got cold! Like seriously, my third prom night was a billion…no trillion times better than the first two times combined!

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However, to be quite honest my Wife doesn’t deserve surprises and she definitely didn’t deserve all that came with this surprise. Why you ask? It’s not because she’s a horrible Wife who doesn’t deserve to be swept off of her feet every time I get a chance to. Or because she doesn’t work hard every day at three jobs to provide for us. Not even because she sacrifices her cool points by driving around in an old beat up 2007 Chevy Equinox while I cruise around town in my 2017 Nissan Rogue Midnight Edition, although I’m very appreciative of that.

I am the problem. You see, I am not the “Surpriser”, I am the “Surprisee” and for good reason. My Wife is the coolest person I know, both in temperament and in just overall Rockstar points. She surprises me and I literally never see it coming. I surprise her and I turn into a psycho banshee with a hangover who’s hangry and been without sex for 15 years. I drove her absolutely crazy! I didn’t want her to see what I was ordering so she was banned from our Amazon account for about a month or so. Which I commend her for staying strong because y’all know she is addicted to Amazon! Once the orders began to roll in she would have to try her clothing items on blind folded or with her eyes closed, only to find out the damn suit jacket didn’t fit so she had to get it tailored! With her eyes closed of course…seriously, I wish I had pictures of her face when she was getting poked with pin needles!


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I am a perfectionist with things that I am passionate about. And this surprise had the potential to really show her how I want to give her everything that she’s never experienced. I was mean at times, rude at other times and downright loony most times! She would ask questions about the surprise and I would BLOW UP at her. I would accidently leave my phone opened to something pertaining to the surprise and yell at her to stop snooping in my phone.

She deserves so much better. She deserves a cool, calm and collected partner who rolls with the punches that come with surprises. She deserves carefully thought out explanations and not “because I said so” answers. She doesn’t deserve a super stressed Wife who’s raging anytime something changes for a surprise she has no idea about, therefore no way to help alleviate the stress. She doesn’t deserve a forgetful and naggy Wife who yells at her for seeing something left out in plain sight.


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My Wife does not deserve surprises if it’s going to negatively impact our friendship, relationship and marriage. My Wife does not deserve surprises that are so stressful on her in the planning stages that she doesn’t even want to continue with the surprise. My Wife does not deserve surprises that turn her Wife into a psycho banshee. And neither does yours.

Plan respectfully, mindfully and positively.